​With everyone so focused on micro-aggressions these days​, we sometimes lose sight of the some of the other issues vexing people in day-to-day life. Here is my personal ranking of the most egregious macro-aggressions:

• Check your privilege and don’t slaughter my village, okay? Is that too much to ask? Whenever you butcher my village​, you make it super-obvious you still have a lot to learn about empathy!

Murdering. My. ​Parents. Is. Not. Okay​!​​

• Once more for the people in the back: Murdering. My. ​Parents. Is. Not. Okay​!​​ Got it?! If I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to remind someone of this I’d have a whole lot of nickels (and a whole lot more living parents (two)).

• Just because you have a hard time listening to anyone with a different world view than you, that *doesn’t* make it okay to cut out their tongue with a rusty, old butter knife. This is silencing at its worst and it has to stop!

• We must end gaslighting, like, yesterday! By which I mean, pouring gas on me and lighting it on fire. It literally burns me up, you guys!

• We need more genuine safe spaces. How many times have you gone to a so-called “safe-space” only to find it filled with gigantic, swinging saw blades dismembering everyone?! That is literally the opposite of a safe space! Do better, people!

I hope you’ve learned something. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to tinkle.

Aloysius Spooky

Aloysius Spooky

Aloysius Spooky discovered SpookyMag while on safari in the Antarctic. His interests include sinister teas (Beelzebub’s Nectar, e.g.).