Categories
Wisdom

de pila baculare

Attention, hockey coaches! When the game begins, pull the OTHER team’s goalie. This should make it easier to score.

Categories
Wisdom

de barritu

The most popular jazz act at the zoo is Elephant Sgerald.

Categories
Wisdom

de heroide

What if there was a heroine and she was on heroin? Pretty cool, right? Now I know what you’re thinking: hey Sam, what about a hero and he’s eating a hero?? Nice try, “pal”, but that’s actually her husband.

Categories
Wisdom

de Cerere

“Man, this sandwich is really on a roll!”

Categories
Wisdom

de derisione

What a rotten barber! I asked for the ‘Tonsure’ and he gave me the ‘Jonathan Taylor Thomas’!! The other monks won’t stop laughing at me!

Categories
Wisdom

de repudio discordiaque

Help settle an argument my wife and I are having. I told her that I’m not happy and want ‘da force’. She says the word is ‘divorce’. Well?

Categories
Wisdom

de oraculo

I AM DEAD!! (Of course I am NOT dead – I’m quite well, in fact – though when I do indeed die, this ‘tweet’ will seem eerily prescient.)

Categories
Wisdom

de spectatoribus madidis

At the Competitive Drinking game, the crowd showed their frustration by raining down booze.

Categories
Wisdom

de pudendis muliebribus

Call me old fashioned, but I pride myself in knowing how to treat a woman’s ‘bathroom area’.

Categories
Wisdom

de notis

Think I’ll get a tattoo of a tattoo on my tattoo.