Attention, hockey coaches! When the game begins, pull the OTHER team’s goalie. This should make it easier to score.
The most popular jazz act at the zoo is Elephant Sgerald.
What if there was a heroine and she was on heroin? Pretty cool, right? Now I know what you’re thinking: hey Sam, what about a hero and he’s eating a hero?? Nice try, “pal”, but that’s actually her husband.
“Man, this sandwich is really on a roll!”
What a rotten barber! I asked for the ‘Tonsure’ and he gave me the ‘Jonathan Taylor Thomas’!! The other monks won’t stop laughing at me!
Help settle an argument my wife and I are having. I told her that I’m not happy and want ‘da force’. She says the word is ‘divorce’. Well?
I AM DEAD!! (Of course I am NOT dead – I’m quite well, in fact – though when I do indeed die, this ‘tweet’ will seem eerily prescient.)
At the Competitive Drinking game, the crowd showed their frustration by raining down booze.
Call me old fashioned, but I pride myself in knowing how to treat a woman’s ‘bathroom area’.
Think I’ll get a tattoo of a tattoo on my tattoo.